Silence is a an enemy of every sexual relationships, but what if your partner is not doing it right for you in bed and you don't want to hurt his/her feelings. Does it mean that you should tell your partner about your dissatisfaction or better keep it a secret? I would say that it's better to open up than let your relationships die. Your partner won't know what you dislike, unless you tell about it, but what is really important - how you tell this.
Give your partner the initiative
Do you feel like you are the only one who is making all the efforts in bed? If your partner is completely unresponsive and doesn't want to give you a feedback, this can be a right time to change the situation.
First of all if you notice that your partner is motionless and tense, ask her or him what bothers him/her and what are your partner's thoughts and feelings. If he/she is worried about something talk about it. If your partner is nothing but relaxed and unwilling to reciprocate, you may focus her/his attention on your needs by placing your partner's hands where you want or gently whisper your desires in her/his ears. The other way to make your partner more active is to change positions so that your partner would inevitably take the initiative.
Explain your needs
You dislike the way he or she is kissing you but you do not want to criticize your partner? There is no need to tell about your dissatisfaction directly. The way you tell your partner about your needs plays a significant role for your partner's reaction. Try to avoid concentrating on your needs only when you explain what you need. This may cause a defensive reaction and lead to a conflict. It is better to focus on mutual satisfaction, asking her/his opinion and making your partner the one to decide how to make you both feel better.
It is even more recommended to explain your partner the benefits of the experience you both want. Do not make your requests one-sided and try to be more giving.
Guide your partner physically and verbally
If something seems uncomfortable to you during sex, the best thing to do is to change the situation by gently guiding your partner with his/her hands. Grasp his/her hips to help your partner do the movements you like. You may start with caressing your partner gently before you place his/her hands where you want them to be.
Encourage your partner with moans, groans and some words.
Appreciate your partner's efforts by letting her/him know that you liked the most. This will make your partner more confident and more willing to make you both feel good.
Create the right mood
Your sexual interaction should not be all serious and tense. The more relaxing you both feel, the more chances are for you to find common language with your partner. Engage in role-playing or simply discuss your fantasies and desires so that both can enjoy good time and explain what you need in a fun manner. This is a good way to touch the topic in a relaxing atmosphere without hurting your partner.
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