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Four Positions For A Better Female Orgasm

Of course you want a steamier sex life -- but there is more to it then candlelight and lingerie. There are actual tried-and-true methods for getting better stimulated and having the Big O. So, get ready for hotter sex with suggestions that will surprise and thrill your partner, from Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. Feel free to print this out and bring it to bed with you. We doubt your partner will complain!

Modified Missionary

You've probably tried the standard missionary position before. But many women complain that they can't achieve an orgasm with the man lying on top. This modified version should take things up a notch:

Lie on your back and put your legs over your partner's shoulders. This is a good position if you need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and it is a nice way to begin to experience building a G-spot orgasm. He'll have a lot of control over stimulating your G-spot, and you can play with your clitoris to have an orgasm.

Mouth and Finger, Yum!

Many women have an easier time achieving an orgasm through oral sex than with intercourse. And since we can only assume that your partner would love nothing more than to try new ways to please you -- walk him through the following exercise:

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Ask your partner not to use the tongue as a vibrator on your clit, but to caress your clitoris, urethra and vaginal opening with lips and tongue. Slower is better, so you have time to absorb all the sensations and to remember to relax.

When you feel aroused, ask him to insert a finger, ever so slowly, and rub your G-spot very slowly but firmly. Over time, your G-spot will become more easily aroused, and swollen, and less stimulation will be necessary to feel ready for orgasm.

The point of this exercise is to relax and allow the sensitivity and pleasure to grow and evolve by shifting your focus bit by bit from clitoris to G-spot, over many lovemaking sessions.

Face to Face on a Stool

A tall kitchen stool is perfect for communicating and slowly working up to soulful eye-to-eye communication. If you are used to closing your eyes and burying your head in the pillow, you'll find that in this position you are more present and equal. No one's weight is on anyone, you are facing each other (he's standing and you're sitting). You can look down at his penis, and he can get valuable feedback about the types of strokes he is delivering when he sees your face and hears your delighted sounds.

Because this position provides intense stimulation to the G-spot and a clear, direct way to communicate, this is the best position for both of you to learn how to awaken and stimulate your G-spot. Your clitoris can also be easily stimulated.

This position is excellent for deep penetration -- if the stool is sturdy -- and for exploring how deep, penetrating thrusts can trigger the sensations of a uterine orgasm (different than a vaginal orgasm, but equally enjoyable). It's likely that at first you may not have an orgasm and you may not ejaculate, but it's worth it to explore a uterine orgasm.

Standing up from Behind

This position borrows certain elements of the popular "doggy-style" position, where the woman is on her hands and knees and is entered from behind. But if you try standing up, slightly bent forward, you'll find more pressure on the G-spot than with the traditional doggy-style position. Your partner's movements will push forward against your G-spot, and that's exactly what you want for good stimulation.

In all these sexual positions, it is important to have your G-spot aroused before he enters. Expressing your delight in your growing sensitivity and arousal is the best way to communicate with him. If he hears, "Oh, oh, my gosh! Oh, that is so sensitive!" he will slow down, but stay aroused and excited. If you say, "I need you to slow down," especially in a nonerotic voice, he may feel he is being dictated to or worry that he is not pleasing you. His fun and confidence will be affected and he may lose his erection. G-spot sensitivity, G-spot orgasms and ejaculating freely will not happen overnight. He'll learn a few things, and you'll give up a few things while you wait for him to catch up. Let him know when he really hits the target. It's helpful to say to your partner, "Oh, oh, oh, please remember that spot!" That gets the message across in an exciting way.

Don't expect him always to remember, but do expect him to catch on after a while. The great thing about all these positions -- and more generally about learning to awaken your G-spot -- is the gradualness with which this can occur. Unlike learning to have an orgasm, which often leads people to stick to one method, variety in how you experience pleasure and orgasm will increase as you slowly incorporate your G-spot awakening into what you already do.

To order the book from Amazon click here

Many thanks to Honeymoons.com for this information.

A Helping Hand

One great new innovation that can help to improve sex for both men and women in any position is ID Pleasure, a high-market lubricant containing L-Arginine. L-Arginine is a non-essential amino acid which, through clinical testing, has been shown to enhance sexual arousal in women and also has been found to increase stimulation for men. When ID Pleasure is applied to the clitoris and vaginal walls for lubrication the L-Arginine will increase the blood flow to the region, heightening sensitivity. Heightened sensitivity, in turn, naturally results in a greater responsiveness to sexual stimulation. When applied to the penis, it increases the blood flow to the penis and helps to create a stronger erection and additional stimulation.

How to change the ritual

Often couples who have enjoyed sex over the course of their lives have developed a sexual routine. When sexual excitement begins to wane, it may be a time to reexamine the ritual. You may choose to introduce new techniques or props into your lovemaking ritual to get some of the spark back.

Many couples experiment with a vibrator or adult toy.  These once taboo items are now becoming a part of mainstream adult sexuality.  They allow partners to relax as they provide intense stimulation.  A couple looking to introduce a vibrator should try the Diving Dolphin - a blue vibrator worn by a man but experienced by both partners. If you're looking for something especially for women, try the Rab bit Pearl.  This vibrator, featured on Sex and the City, is incredible. It provides intense vaginal and clitoral stimulation.  You won't find a better vibe.

For more information, consult our Better Sex section.

Timing is everything

Years ago, sex may have been difficult to schedule with busy homemaking, children and careers. Many couples would make love before they went to bed because it was simply the only time they had. Now it may be very different. For many older individuals the prospect of having sex just before bedtime is not a popular one. Many people are exhausted and are ready to settle in for a good night's sleep. Sex is not pleasurable when you are not relaxed. Try to find times during the day when you are well rested and alert. Some couples find that the early morning is the best time to make love, after a good night’s sleep. The early afternoon (an hour or two after lunch) may be ideal, perhaps indulging in a bath or shower afterward.

Places for sleep and places for sex

Your bedroom may be where you have to spend some of your most intimate moments. As you get older, your needs change. For some it may no longer be practical for you and your partner to share a double bed. For a partner with health ailments a bed of his/her own is sometimes necessary. If you find that this is a problem that affects your sex life then it may be best to have a larger bed that is for lovemaking and a separate bed for one of you. The addition of an extra bed does not mean that similar closeness during sex cannot continue. Rather, it should be seen as a place to sleep soundly afterward.