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Four Positions For A Better Female Orgasm

Of course you want a steamier sex life -- but there is more to it then candlelight and lingerie. There are actual tried-and-true methods for getting better stimulated and having the Big O. So, get ready for hotter sex with suggestions that will surprise and thrill your partner, from Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. Feel free to print this out and bring it to bed with you. We doubt your partner will complain!

Modified Missionary

You've probably tried the standard missionary position before. But many women complain that they can't achieve an orgasm with the man lying on top. This modified version should take things up a notch:

Lie on your back and put your legs over your partner's shoulders. This is a good position if you need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and it is a nice way to begin to experience building a G-spot orgasm. He'll have a lot of control over stimulating your G-spot, and you can play with your clitoris to have an orgasm.

Mouth and Finger, Yum!

Many women have an easier time achieving an orgasm through oral sex than with intercourse. And since we can only assume that your partner would love nothing more than to try new ways to please you -- walk him through the following exercise:

Tracey Cox: Become a brilliant lover!

Ask your partner not to use the tongue as a vibrator on your clit, but to caress your clitoris, urethra and vaginal opening with lips and tongue. Slower is better, so you have time to absorb all the sensations and to remember to relax.

When you feel aroused, ask him to insert a finger, ever so slowly, and rub your G-spot very slowly but firmly. Over time, your G-spot will become more easily aroused, and swollen, and less stimulation will be necessary to feel ready for orgasm.

The point of this exercise is to relax and allow the sensitivity and pleasure to grow and evolve by shifting your focus bit by bit from clitoris to G-spot, over many lovemaking sessions.

Face to Face on a Stool

A tall kitchen stool is perfect for communicating and slowly working up to soulful eye-to-eye communication. If you are used to closing your eyes and burying your head in the pillow, you'll find that in this position you are more present and equal. No one's weight is on anyone, you are facing each other (he's standing and you're sitting). You can look down at his penis, and he can get valuable feedback about the types of strokes he is delivering when he sees your face and hears your delighted sounds.

Because this position provides intense stimulation to the G-spot and a clear, direct way to communicate, this is the best position for both of you to learn how to awaken and stimulate your G-spot. Your clitoris can also be easily stimulated.

This position is excellent for deep penetration -- if the stool is sturdy -- and for exploring how deep, penetrating thrusts can trigger the sensations of a uterine orgasm (different than a vaginal orgasm, but equally enjoyable). It's likely that at first you may not have an orgasm and you may not ejaculate, but it's worth it to explore a uterine orgasm.

Standing up from Behind

This position borrows certain elements of the popular "doggy-style" position, where the woman is on her hands and knees and is entered from behind. But if you try standing up, slightly bent forward, you'll find more pressure on the G-spot than with the traditional doggy-style position. Your partner's movements will push forward against your G-spot, and that's exactly what you want for good stimulation.

In all these sexual positions, it is important to have your G-spot aroused before he enters. Expressing your delight in your growing sensitivity and arousal is the best way to communicate with him. If he hears, "Oh, oh, my gosh! Oh, that is so sensitive!" he will slow down, but stay aroused and excited. If you say, "I need you to slow down," especially in a nonerotic voice, he may feel he is being dictated to or worry that he is not pleasing you. His fun and confidence will be affected and he may lose his erection. G-spot sensitivity, G-spot orgasms and ejaculating freely will not happen overnight. He'll learn a few things, and you'll give up a few things while you wait for him to catch up. Let him know when he really hits the target. It's helpful to say to your partner, "Oh, oh, oh, please remember that spot!" That gets the message across in an exciting way.

Don't expect him always to remember, but do expect him to catch on after a while. The great thing about all these positions -- and more generally about learning to awaken your G-spot -- is the gradualness with which this can occur. Unlike learning to have an orgasm, which often leads people to stick to one method, variety in how you experience pleasure and orgasm will increase as you slowly incorporate your G-spot awakening into what you already do.

To order the book from Amazon click here

Many thanks to Honeymoons.com for this information.

Tips for Safe and Successful Online Relationships

How to make your Internet-based relationship work in the real world

At Top Dating Tips, we are here to help you be successful in dating and meeting new friends. It's what we do best. We want to take this opportunity to provide you with some hints and tips on helping you date safely, and successfully find that special person. You may wish to make and meet a new friend. Your main interest may be in dating online or dating in person, you may wish to find love and romance, perhaps the person you dream of marrying. It could be that you wish to travel or play sport or an activity and need a companion or other activity partner to come along.

The key to meeting new friends is to have fun, relax and enjoy. Find a dating site environment in which you can do these things safely and without any pressure. If you decide to meet someone there or in the outside world, then we feel there are some basic ideas you should follow for your personal comfort.

Okay, so what can you do to help yourself?

First you need to get replies to your emails and messages. Here are some tips you may find helpful:

• Think about how your profile is written. Ensure there are NO spelling mistakes in your profile or your emails and messages.
• Keep your description short but be completely honest. If you are not being truthful then when you meet, you will be discovered, if not before.
• Add fun and humor to your profile, and don't be too serious at first.
• Don't be afraid to state who you wish to meet and why. Most adults know the kind of person they are attracted to, even if they are not sure why.
• Tell people what you like and perhaps things you don't. Don't be offensive though.
• Change and edit your profile occasionally to keep it fresh, and try to be original.
• Add a photo to your profile. We find that a member with a photo can get anything up to 9 times the amount of replies, in comparison with those that do not include one.
• Be polite with messaging, and don't make judgments about the length of time to get a reply.
• Please don't feel you need to block someone just because they are too busy to chat this time. Be cool.
• Keep your first email short and to the point, perhaps humorous and interesting. Don't include too much detail at this point, and just a few things that you have in common. Make the email talkative and allow it to flow. Don't be too serious at this stage or too emotional.
• Do NOT include you personal details in an introduction email. Leave that until a relationship is established, and you feel very comfortable with the other person.
• Try and contact a few people at the same time, but always those who you have matched, not those who you have nothing in common with as they will not welcome your contact.
• Be honest and stick to the truth. It is all too easy to add things that at this stage are not checkable. However, you may get caught out later and ruin a fantastic friendship or romance.
• Always reply quite quickly to any messages.

How to change the ritual

Often couples who have enjoyed sex over the course of their lives have developed a sexual routine. When sexual excitement begins to wane, it may be a time to reexamine the ritual. You may choose to introduce new techniques or props into your lovemaking ritual to get some of the spark back.

Many couples experiment with a vibrator or adult toy.  These once taboo items are now becoming a part of mainstream adult sexuality.  They allow partners to relax as they provide intense stimulation.  A couple looking to introduce a vibrator should try the Diving Dolphin - a blue vibrator worn by a man but experienced by both partners. If you're looking for something especially for women, try the Rab bit Pearl.  This vibrator, featured on Sex and the City, is incredible. It provides intense vaginal and clitoral stimulation.  You won't find a better vibe.

For more information, consult our Better Sex section.

Timing is everything

Years ago, sex may have been difficult to schedule with busy homemaking, children and careers. Many couples would make love before they went to bed because it was simply the only time they had. Now it may be very different. For many older individuals the prospect of having sex just before bedtime is not a popular one. Many people are exhausted and are ready to settle in for a good night's sleep. Sex is not pleasurable when you are not relaxed. Try to find times during the day when you are well rested and alert. Some couples find that the early morning is the best time to make love, after a good night’s sleep. The early afternoon (an hour or two after lunch) may be ideal, perhaps indulging in a bath or shower afterward.

Places for sleep and places for sex

Your bedroom may be where you have to spend some of your most intimate moments. As you get older, your needs change. For some it may no longer be practical for you and your partner to share a double bed. For a partner with health ailments a bed of his/her own is sometimes necessary. If you find that this is a problem that affects your sex life then it may be best to have a larger bed that is for lovemaking and a separate bed for one of you. The addition of an extra bed does not mean that similar closeness during sex cannot continue. Rather, it should be seen as a place to sleep soundly afterward.