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British obsession with sex

The British love sex stories, in particular the slightly bizar

Click here for the full article - http://life.hereisthecity.com/the_soul_clinic/loved_up/1163.cntns

2009 The year of sex

Read the article here.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34621673/ns/health-sexual_health/

Four Positions For A Better Female Orgasm

Of course you want a steamier sex life -- but there is more to it then candlelight and lingerie. There are actual tried-and-true methods for getting better stimulated and having the Big O. So, get ready for hotter sex with suggestions that will surprise and thrill your partner, from Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. Feel free to print this out and bring it to bed with you. We doubt your partner will complain!

Modified Missionary

You've probably tried the standard missionary position before. But many women complain that they can't achieve an orgasm with the man lying on top. This modified version should take things up a notch:

Lie on your back and put your legs over your partner's shoulders. This is a good position if you need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and it is a nice way to begin to experience building a G-spot orgasm. He'll have a lot of control over stimulating your G-spot, and you can play with your clitoris to have an orgasm.

Mouth and Finger, Yum!

Many women have an easier time achieving an orgasm through oral sex than with intercourse. And since we can only assume that your partner would love nothing more than to try new ways to please you -- walk him through the following exercise:

Tracey Cox: Become a brilliant lover!

Ask your partner not to use the tongue as a vibrator on your clit, but to caress your clitoris, urethra and vaginal opening with lips and tongue. Slower is better, so you have time to absorb all the sensations and to remember to relax.

When you feel aroused, ask him to insert a finger, ever so slowly, and rub your G-spot very slowly but firmly. Over time, your G-spot will become more easily aroused, and swollen, and less stimulation will be necessary to feel ready for orgasm.

The point of this exercise is to relax and allow the sensitivity and pleasure to grow and evolve by shifting your focus bit by bit from clitoris to G-spot, over many lovemaking sessions.

Face to Face on a Stool

A tall kitchen stool is perfect for communicating and slowly working up to soulful eye-to-eye communication. If you are used to closing your eyes and burying your head in the pillow, you'll find that in this position you are more present and equal. No one's weight is on anyone, you are facing each other (he's standing and you're sitting). You can look down at his penis, and he can get valuable feedback about the types of strokes he is delivering when he sees your face and hears your delighted sounds.

Because this position provides intense stimulation to the G-spot and a clear, direct way to communicate, this is the best position for both of you to learn how to awaken and stimulate your G-spot. Your clitoris can also be easily stimulated.

This position is excellent for deep penetration -- if the stool is sturdy -- and for exploring how deep, penetrating thrusts can trigger the sensations of a uterine orgasm (different than a vaginal orgasm, but equally enjoyable). It's likely that at first you may not have an orgasm and you may not ejaculate, but it's worth it to explore a uterine orgasm.

Standing up from Behind

This position borrows certain elements of the popular "doggy-style" position, where the woman is on her hands and knees and is entered from behind. But if you try standing up, slightly bent forward, you'll find more pressure on the G-spot than with the traditional doggy-style position. Your partner's movements will push forward against your G-spot, and that's exactly what you want for good stimulation.

In all these sexual positions, it is important to have your G-spot aroused before he enters. Expressing your delight in your growing sensitivity and arousal is the best way to communicate with him. If he hears, "Oh, oh, my gosh! Oh, that is so sensitive!" he will slow down, but stay aroused and excited. If you say, "I need you to slow down," especially in a nonerotic voice, he may feel he is being dictated to or worry that he is not pleasing you. His fun and confidence will be affected and he may lose his erection. G-spot sensitivity, G-spot orgasms and ejaculating freely will not happen overnight. He'll learn a few things, and you'll give up a few things while you wait for him to catch up. Let him know when he really hits the target. It's helpful to say to your partner, "Oh, oh, oh, please remember that spot!" That gets the message across in an exciting way.

Don't expect him always to remember, but do expect him to catch on after a while. The great thing about all these positions -- and more generally about learning to awaken your G-spot -- is the gradualness with which this can occur. Unlike learning to have an orgasm, which often leads people to stick to one method, variety in how you experience pleasure and orgasm will increase as you slowly incorporate your G-spot awakening into what you already do.

To order the book from Amazon click here

Many thanks to Honeymoons.com for this information.

Sex and Hooded Men - Good Clean fun

It’s a question that arises sooner or later. And while the answers depend entirely on personal preference, the health aspects are up for debate. It’s a question of trauma and pain versus hygiene and pleasure.

Do women prefer uncircumcised men or circumcised ones? It’s a question that’s more relevant now than 20 years ago, when around 90% of boys in the Western world were circumcised. Since then there’s been a movement to halt a practice that’s increasingly regarded as medically unnecessary and cruel.

Today only around 60% of boys are circumcised for reasons other than religion. But what are the affects on sex of being snipped or unsnipped? Firstly, it’s been said that the hood of the penis is more sensitive to stimulation if it remains covered by the penile hood.

But there’s also a drawback to being uncircumcised. Men with intact foreskins must take care to move it up and down and clean inside the covered areas. Neglecting to do so will lead to a build-up of smelly material that can cause nasty infections after lovemaking.

Slipping up works nicely
Secondly, some women prefer a circumcised penis, as it slides up and down more easily in the vagina, providing more pleasure for both partners.

There’s also the matter of safe sex: men with foreskins can have difficulty keeping a condom on during full intercourse. Like a dirty penis, this can cause anxiety - a really passion killer.

But with condom that fits properly, proper washing and good lubrication the problem should be alleviated.

Circumcision itself is no happy event – it’s bloody, painful and traumatic. There’s been a concerted effort recent years to discourage parents from circumcising their infant boys. Written accounts of the procedure are harrowing.

Whether you choose to circumcise your kids is up to you. When push comes to shove, there are advantages and disadvantages to having the snip. If you’re a hooded man, pay obsessively close attention to your hygiene. If you aren’t, enjoy your evening. - (William Smook)

Many thanks to William Smook for this article and health24

Multiple Sex Partners Versus One

Sexologists say that most women and men lie about their previous sexual experiences, underestimating (for women) or overestimating (for men) the number of sex partners. Making the secret of your past can be quite understandable as people tend to make certain conclusions based on sexual behavior. But why men tend to boast about the multiple partners they had and women try to hide the real number of partners?

Indeed, does number of partners tell about your skillfulness in bed? Most probably not. Most experts agree that most satisfying sex is among long-term partners. There are several reasons for that:

• Frequency of sex

Couples that live together, have higher frequency of sex, that benefits both partners, keep them fit and more confident. However, there is always a possibility that regular sex may turn into monotonous sex when sexual excitement fades with the time. But if both partners are willing to do some changes in their repertoire, their experience becomes really precious.
For those who do not have stable relationships, sex life usually undergoes ups and downs with times when sexual passion is on the rise followed by uncertainty and overall lack of sex.

• Sexual satisfaction

Long-term relationships that are based on trust and open communication contribute to better understanding bed. Partners can discuss their sexual likes and dislikes, improve their sex life and with the time get almost in tune with each other sexually. That helps women and men derive maximum pleasure from their experience.
Partners who do not know each other quite well may often feel awkward when it comes to one's preferences in bed. On the one hand lack of knowledge brings more exploration in sexual area, on the other hand, both partners do not feel intimate enough to openly say what was right or wrong.

• Sexual health

There is no need to say that partners who committed to each other and got to know each other's sexual history are more confident when it comes to their sexual health. Again, open communication is the key and knowing that your health will also affect your partner's health makes you more responsible. Partners in long-term relationships often have better understanding on the methods of contraception and decide what is best for them.
Having multiple partners, makes you feel less secure in these issues, especially if you just started having sex together.

• Sex experiments

Someone may say that more partners equals to more variety in sex life. This is not true, if we talk about stable relationships where partners are used to share their feelings and ideas together. On the contrary, long-term partners feel comfortable to discuss their fantasies and are open to experimentation, which brings them even closer to each other. You can always explore the whole variety of sexual experience with one partner – it is just takes more efforts than changing partners frequently. And you are more willing to try new things with a partner who won't say that there is something wrong with you.

            many thanks to real sex tips for these points

The Lusty Lean

 

Erotic Instructions:

Your sweetie stands facing you as you squat on a bed or chair with your back to him. Lean on his chest as he steadies you by placing his hands under your rear. He then enters you from behind.

 

Why You'll Love It:

Leaning back on his chest with his biceps bracing your weight, you'll feel totally taken care of — and he'll feel more studly than a first-string stallion. Plus, this position gives him deep access combined with more of a grinding motion than the usual from-behind fast thrusting.

 

Many thanks to cosmopolitan for this. read more at

 

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/the-lusty-lean-sex-position

Sexual Position To Try - G-Spot Jiggy

Erotic Instructions:

Get down on all fours with your man kneeling behind you and have him plunge inside you, grabbing your rear for balance. A little firm, well-placed stroking of your G-spot can open up a whole new orgasmic world. If he’s the exploring kind, encourage him to thrust far enough inside you so that his testicles hit your body.

 

Why You'll Love It:

Once you have a G-spot orgasm, you’ll crave more. Also, there’s something very primal about doing the deed from behind that brings out the animal in even the most mild-mannered guy.

 

HINT :

If the doggy-style pose doesn’t make you hot enough, accessorize! Using a vibrator will definitely amp up the action. Plus, bringing a toy between the sheets could take your relationship to a whole new level since a touch of taboo is always a turn-on

 

Many thanks to Cosmopolitan for this

 

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/g-spot-jiggy-sex-position

Positions women like

Here comes that generalisation again, and with it the knowledge that at least one reader will say, "But I'm not like that". Okay, let's say that many - not all - women enjoy these lovemaking positions.

Call us indulgent, but most men enjoy seeing their partners having an orgasm. Here are a few of the positions many women find gives them the most pleasure, along with some tips for men on maximising the enjoyment for both of you.

 

Astride

You lie on your back, perhaps with a pillow under your bottom. Once she's on top of you and you're inside her, you can tilt your pelvis forward a bit, which allows her to grind hers more directly against it. Many women find this a reliable way of having a clitoral orgasm, especially if they lie on top of you. She may prefer you to lie still and let her control the rhythm of her movement. Don't worry - it'll be pleasant for you too.

 

Your partner may also prefer to remain erect, resting her weight on her hands while moving rhythmically up and done. This enables her to move her G-spot against the head or shaft of your penis.

 

This position can be hugely enjoyable position for both of you. Your partner may heighten the sensation for both of you by squeezing her kegel muscles. Exotic sex manuals talk about women turning around while astride the man, but feats like these have more value as a novelty than heightened pleasure. Try it, but don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out. There are plenty of other options.

 

The intimate missionary

It's a much-maligned position, but many women love it. It allows full-length, skin-to-skin touching and eye contact. Try putting your arms around your partner and holding her close to you. You can also hold yourself up on your arms and move inside her, very slowly and rhythmically, rather than frantic rodeo-type thrusting. Try putting a pillow under her bottom.

 

Making a stand

For this you'll need a very sturdy surface, at about waist height. If it's a cold, hard or rough surface, your partner will appreciate a towel between it and her bottom. Some men go on about the value of a rumbling, vibrating tumble-drier to add extra sensation. If you're comfortable with your partner calling out the name of the manufacturer while in the throes of passion, switch on the machine.

 

The reason so many women like this position is that it allows contact with the G-spot. Some women find it the only position in which they can ejaculate, often a highly erotic experience for both partners. She should probably be fully aroused before you enter her, as you'll be penetrating her deeply.

 

Depending on where you do this - a fallen tree in the middle of the Okavango, against a lifeboat on a cruise liner, under a full moon in Venice - there'll also be an element of danger or intrigue. So this isn't the time for lingering, all-night intimacy, but rather the cut-to-the-action sort. Gauge your partner's mood right and your have a recipe for brief, explosive sex. It’s no replacement for the lingering, romantic sort, just a whizz-bang alternative.

 

Spoons in the sack

This is a slow, intimate position that can feel enormously erotic. Your partner lies on her side and you nestle in her back, letting you guide your penis inside her. There's no eye contact unless you have a strategically placed mirror (Not a bad idea if your partner fancies it), but it does allow you to rub and stroke her body and to kiss, lick and nuzzle her neck, back and ears. And of course, you can give her a running commentary on how good she makes you feel.

 

Stoop lively now

Not all women are wild about “doggy style” as it can seem a bit impersonal, but if the mood is right and she's confident that you're not fantasising about her sister it can be very exciting. You can do this standing, kneeling or lying down. For the latter you can put a pillow under her pelvis, and enter her vagina from behind, resting your weight on your hands.

 

Standing or kneeling affords the deepest penetration, and you can hold your partner's hips in your hands and control your thrusting with her pelvic movements and yours. – thankyou to health 24 for these tips

How to share a lover

Sometimes it happens by design, sometimes it’s unplanned. Sometimes, just maybe, it’s one of those accidents of fate drawing us on into the unknown, on a journey towards greater self-knowledge, greater integration and vastly expanded possibilities. Including more people in your love life will lead to an exponential increase in whatever is at the core of your attraction.

 

First, leave your preconceived expectations and judgements at the gate. That goes for excessive concern about what others will think, too. Learn to discriminate between form and substance. Happiness in a relationship comes from a shared experience of love, not from an external appearance or image of perfect coupledom. Ask yourself: how do I feel in this relationship? Trust your gut. If you have an inner certainty that you are engaged in a loving and joyous union, chances are your partners will agree with you. If you have doubts, check them out with an open-minded friend or unbiased therapist.

Second, do not tolerate deception, secrecy or lies. This doesn’t mean you have to broadcast the most intimate details of your love to the world at large, but cheating hurts everyone involved. Many people embark on multiple relationships without consulting their spouses or lovers because of their own guilt, jealousy or fear of rejection. In order to reap the benefits, it’s essential that all parties have a clear and accurate understanding of what’s going on.

If you or your lovers won’t risk telling the truth to all of your partners, do everybody a favour and stick to monogamy. It is best for your lovers to know and trust each other; that is, to have their own relationship, independent of you. It’s also a good idea for all of you to spend some time together. If your lover refuses to participate in efforts at joint communication, try to identify the underlying obstacles. If there’s no willingness to grow here, beware.

Third, clarify your own values and goals in life. Be consistent and communicate these to others. Don’t mislead potential lovers by changing your intentions with your moods. If it’s a priority for you to keep your life simple, predictable and uncomplicated, you probably won’t be motivated to commit the necessary time and energy to maintain inclusive relationships. More than one lover doesn’t have to mean an endless marathon encounter, but it does require sensitivity, self-awareness, empathy and clear communication. If you don’t already have these skills, you will have to develop them. Involvement in more than one intimate relationship tends to accelerate the process of personal growth and to intensify external activities.

Seek out others who share your wants, needs and dreams. Don’t try to force a round peg into a square hole. Make a list of the costs and benefits of your preferred relationship structure. Visualise it as you would like it to be. Ask yourself: how must I change in order for what I want to become a reality?

What about HIV/AIDS?

Many people these days are fearful of choosing a polyamorous love style because of concerns about exposing themselves to HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

If fear of disease is the only factor motivating your choice of love style, consider this. A closed circle, whether of two or six or twenty healthy, trusted partners can make polyamory just as “safe” as monogamy; perhaps even more so since the couple who have sworn to be monogamous may be more likely to lie about outside affairs and less likely to frankly discuss their sexual histories with prospective lovers than those who are openly polyamorous.

A safe sex circle or condom commitment can be entered into by a number of partners who first take appropriate steps to see that they are free of communicable diseases, and then agree not to have unsafe sex outside the group or engage in other high risk behaviours such as intravenous drug use. Each group will have to define what specific behaviours fall into the category of unprotected sex. If anyone slips up they report this to the group and are then quarantined until they can renew their clean bill of health.

Of course, it’s also possible to share sexual energy without penetration or exchanging bodily fluids, and this is also a good alternative to fear-based monogamy.

The bottom line is that creating a healthy body, mind and spirit will offer you more real protection than relying on one or more partners who may make promises they fail to keep. A highly functional immune system, a sex-positive attitude and your own ability to discern when and with whom it’s appropriate to engage with sexually offer you the security you need to love freely in our modern world. Exercise good judgment, but don’t let exaggerated fears keep you from listening to your heart.

Condom commitment:

An agreement to confine exchange of bodily fluids and barrier-free intercourse to a closed group which has previously been screened for STIs.

So the bottom line is: If you are going to do it, do it responsibly.

Sunday Sex Tip

Hit the spot!

Missionary position? Nah, overdone. Try our selection of handy configurations of carnal knowledge. All you need is a consenting partner and a sense of adventure.

 There’s one big benefit to the positions we’ve chosen: they hit the spot for women. We’ve rated each one’s do-ability as easy, moderate or tricky and the results as sighs, moans or OH-YES, along with instructions on making it work.

 

A little inversion

You’ll need a low bed, futon or couch for this one, and some cushions or pillows on the floor so she won’t hurt he head.

How: She lies on her back on the bed, then slides off the side so that her head, shoulders and upper back are over the edge and resting on the cushions. You move in and penetrate her, bracing yourself on the edge of the bed or whatever other furniture is available.

Why it works: the position stretches her belly, pulling the lips of her vagina so that your penis makes good contact with her clitoris. And her breasts will be close to your face, which is always nice.

Do-ability: tricky.

Results: moans.

 

End-on

Two pillows and a bed are all you need here.

How: You lie on your back, she on her side, with your squishy bits touching and your heads facing in opposite directions. She slides down onto your erection.

Why it works: Despite your faces being apart, there’s a surprising intimacy to this position. Your partner can move to whatever position stimulates her, while you’ll have an usual amount of pressure on the head of your penis. One warning: not all guys’ penises are flexible enough to achieve this position. Check beforehand.

Do-ability: moderate.

Results: moans to OH-YES.

 

Rodeo

You need a bed, a pillow and a reasonably fit set of back muscles. Lie on your back on the bed, then slide off until only your upper back on head are on the mattress, with your feet taking your weight on the floor. She straddles you and uses her feet to thrust up and down.

Why it works: She has complete in control of the angle, speed and depth of the thrusts, but also has freedom of movement because she’s supporting her own weight. Your hands are free to stimulate her wherever she likes. Keep your legs braced during her orgasm, as her knees might go wobbly for a while.

Do-ability: easy to moderate.

Results: OH-YES

 

Wall banger

Sit with your back to the headboard or the wall, with a pillow behind you. She sits on your legs facing you, then bracing herself on your legs, puts her feet on your shoulders and slides forward onto your erection.

Why it works: it’s a very stable position because you’re supporting her weight on your lap, leaving her to use her arms to push onto and off your penis. You’ll both have a good view of your genitals in close contact, which many women find intensely arousing.

Do-ability: moderate

Results: moderate.

 

 The nuzzler

She lies on her tummy, on the bed, with a pillow under her pelvis. You lie between her legs and enter vagina from behind.

Why it works: It’s one of the easiest and most reliable ways to hit the fabled G-spot, that coin-sized bundle of nerves inside the front of the vagina. Her bottom will prevent you from penetrating too deeply and missing it. It takes a while for some women to become used to pressure on the G-spot, but many develop an instant liking for it. You can whisper sweet nothings from behind, hence the name.

Do-ability: easy

Results: OH-YES

 

 X-File

You sit on the bed with your legs open before you knees slightly bent, while she straddles you.

Why it works: many women find bronco-like thrusting less fun than having a penis inside them providing focused pressure while their clitoris is stimulated. You can try holding hands and leaning back, then focus on keeping the base of your penis providing pressure on the clitoris.

Do-ability: easy

Results: moderate to OH-YES.